TSM* NHL trade deadline news breaker

LATE breaking story! Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment trade coach Ron Wilson for a 1999th round pick in the 2020 draft.

Reached at her home, where family and friends were glued to Maple Leaf TV, his mother confirmed to TSM speculation that the coach had still not twittered the news. “If it’s not been tweeted, it can’t be true.”

Meanwhile, as of the 3:00 p.m. trade deadline today, reports that more than fifty other hockey players were to be traded by nineteen paid pundits along with four ex-general managers gathered by The Sports Network and Rogers Communications (owned by Bell Media and Rogers Sportsnet respectively, co-owners of Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment) were proven to be false.

A number of the highly-paid pundits have since been diagnosed with “an upper body injury” and will be assigned to the Toronto Blue Jay’s spring training complex in Dunedin, Florida for a refresher course in selling hope.

* Toronto Sports Media

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